The tricky path of balancing home life 🏠, mom life 👩‍👧‍👦, married life 💍, and work life

Mother's Day has come and gone 🌸. I have mixed feelings about the actual day to be honest (it's not like we are only moms that day) 😄, but my family always makes it special. My kids love surprising me with their hand-made cards, and I am blessed to have a spouse that lets me sleep in a little longer and makes me a nice cup of coffee thereafter. ☕️

I always make it a point to send every mother I know a "Happy Mother's Day" message. Not only my family, but I literally go through all of my phone contacts and send the mommas a message. I love letting people know I am thinking about them. This year, however, the replies were not "you too" or "thank you." They were mostly focused on "You are a super mom" or "Great job! You are doing it all." Well, let me tell you... I am not doing it all 😮 (not all the time) and I don't always do it well 😂. But I have learned that it is ok to not have it all together, and I wanted to share a few little strategies I practice that help me "do it all;" at least semi-well. 🤷‍♀️💪

1. CELEBRATE SMALL VICTORIES THROUGHOUT THE DAY 🎉 I take one task at a time and celebrate my small victories. Believe it or not, some days I celebrate finishing my coffee ☕️ or putting on makeup 💄 or getting my kids through breakfast without rushing them. It is ok to celebrate small victories. Honestly, it gives me a sense of accomplishment that translates through the rest of the day. 🌟

2. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK 😌 Life is not perfect, but it doesn't help when we dwell on small things (or absolutely everything!). Sometimes you will raise your voice, say things you don't mean, miss a signature on a contract, stain your shirt, or leave a couple of dirty dishes in the sink. It makes you human. Looking at everything in the "grand scheme of things" helps me gain perspective. Mastering the "giving yourself a break" mentality serves as a wonderful tool to manage your stress and be more at ease. And it doesn't mean "not caring," because I do care. It just means not sending myself into a tailspin of how terrible it all was or engage in the "I can't believe I did that" rhetoric. It took me a long time to be good at it, and I don't always do it perfectly, but it has had a positive impact in my life. And when I do make a mistake, the first thing I do is apologize, especially to my children. I've had some people tell me lately how "chill" I am. I am nothing of the sort (or at least I don't describe myself as chill) but perhaps my "break giving" has allowed me to project more calmness to the world 😎. The same idea goes for "I should spend more time with my kids" or "I should spend more time on that work project." "Shoulding" all over ourselves is probably something most of us are experts in 😂. One of my favorite coaches and authors, Dean Graziosi, talks about how the life scale ⚖️ will sometimes inevitably tip heavier toward work life and sometimes heavier toward home life. Guilt of where the weight is tipping needs to be let go, because in time the scale will tip the opposite way anyway. AND THAT IS OK! 👌

3. ASK FOR HELP 🙏 We need to let go of the idea that "doing it alone" is somehow a big triumph. Alone is hard, alone is painful. When I was in my 20s, I remember trekking through the world with the mentality of "I can do it on my own." Looking back, and knowing what I know now, I should have asked for more help. Asking for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you human and humble. And that's what is truly SUPER 🦸‍♀️. When it comes to business, for example, I ask for help and advice from mentors, my business partner, my broker, my coach, and other experts. Sometimes other agents step in and help me with showings and paperwork. It helps me accomplish tasks faster and serve my clients better. Same goes for my household. Some months I am so busy that I ask my cleaning team to come more often; and it doesn't only make me happy, it helps me reduce chaos. Some evenings and weekends, when my husband and I are both working, our kiddos spend time with a babysitter so we can get work done. It is not ideal, but they have fun, and I am not as stressed as I would be if I did not get work done. Remember the scale tipping one way or another? ⚖️

4. RELY ON YOUR MOM TRIBE 👯‍♀️

There is no one who can understand you better than other mommas that lead similar lifestyles. Other fellow exhausted humans juggling work life, mom life, and married life (or dating life). Having friends you can talk to about the daily madness makes you feel normal, makes you laugh about it all and sometimes shed a much-needed tear. 😂❤️ I know finding a tribe is not always easy, but you also need to work hard on finding it. I make it a priority to have "girl time" with my group of friends at least once a month. It doesn't always happen, but when it does, it feels like an energy infusion! We laugh, we share our problems and burdens, we have each other's backs, and we are not only caring but very honest with each other. It's tough to find a group where there is no judgement; but when you find it, hold on to it. And if you don't have it, start looking for sure! Empathy in life is important, and no one can give you better empathy and understanding than a person that is walking in similar shoes. 🤗💕 Below are some pics of my tribe! I love y'all 3000!

5. THE POWER OF BOUNDARIES AND SAYING "NO" 🚧❌

This is by far the toughest one for me. Typically, women's nurturing nature drives us to try and please those around us and focus on making people happy. I am definitely guilty of that. I have to commend my business partner Sandra Gonzalez for reminding me constantly that boundaries with EVERYONE are important (Yes, including our children and spouses), and that the guilt we feel when saying NO to the third event of the week or the tenth volunteer email from school is overrated. When you are someone who works hard, is dependable, and helps when you can, people love to be around you; and that is fantastic! But the power of NO will give you peace of mind, time for yourself, or simply a minute to breathe and to rest. And this won't happen overnight; but it is important to remember that slowing down and taking a step back does not mean you are giving up or falling short. It means you are choosing to rest so you can be a better version of yourself for everything you choose to say YES to. ✨💪

So, fellow working-moms (and that includes moms at home too!) spouses, and also the dog and cat (and every other pet there is) mommas, let's embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and remember that we're doing something amazing every day. Remember that you're doing an incredible job, even if you don't have it all figured out. 🌟 Rely on your mom tribe, keep that positive mindset, keep learning, and keep rocking those multiple roles with style and grace (and give yourself a break when you are not feeling or acting so graceful 🤗)! You've got this and we are all in this together! 💪✨ Ohh and remember one powerful word... NO!

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